Inner Child

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“The most sophisticated people I know – inside they are all children. ”

Hello and thank you for reading, many people for a long time have asked me to create a blog and I’ve finally decided I could do it. Bare with me, my grammar sucks and its been a while since high school, being I have almost 0 further education past reiki and energy my brain often forgets how to be an adult, sweet irony of this post. Haha. Not many people know about me, if following me on the internet I have a great sense of humor, and I believe its very important to maintain your inner child and sense of humor throughout life. When we become too serious we start to lose certain aspects of our lives that we need to nourish and keep to have fun and a positive attitude throughout life. With my dog recently passing, and having her since childhood searching through old photos helped me see a younger me, that I haven’t forgot existed, not so much abandoned but had not been nourishing in quite some time. After my dog passed I went for a very long walk in the woods, and I grabbed a walking stick and walked with it, upon coming up to a frog pond I remembered my childhood in Manalapan, NJ, and all of us kids used to go to the frog pond and it was like our own magical play ground. It was ours and our imagination ran wild. Wed see frogs and build forts and allowed out imaginations to take us to distant places that could only end when our parents yelled outside for us, not when they texted or called.

I got this overwhelming peace around me. I sat down, ran through those memories, closed my eyes and did all I could, breathe. I sat very still and let my imagination run wild with me, though with an older brain now perspective hit me all at once too. I was sitting in front of a small stream, where these frogs live, to them this is their giant Utopia, this is where they live and its as large as our towns and streets are to us. When we were little, these small places are our entire worlds we’ve created within ourselves and created imaginary stories. What I began to channel in those moments were we need to keep our inner child alive. At this point in life, we look at a frog pond and all we see is a small gross place of water and worry about spiders and mosquitos, but was that how you felt when you were small? And much happier, much more in love before the world stole your imagination and decided to must be in fear, or think it gross? This was a time before people and circumstance stole your imagination from you, and made you “grow up” now when I say grow up like that I do not mean live in peter pan ville, and not have responsibility or moral compass, I mean not keeping your child like self in tact, the one who loves fun and walking under the street lights. Now a days, most people don’t find fun in walking in the woods, playing on a play ground, laughing at the things they did as a child.

Later that night, I went to a park by my house and swang on the swing set in the dark. I closed my eyes and felt bits and pieces of the fun I had once had as a child. I grew up on that swing set and at that park, and as I had forgotten my memories, it had not forgotten me because I felt the same way I did as a child. I felt burdens and anxiety and sadness lift off of me. I felt momentary. We lose that momentary awareness as we get older and learn how to worry. When you’re young, you are only thinking of whats in front of you, adults call it silly, I call it genius. We were meant to stay that way, stay within moment to moment, not allow outside circumstance to take away our ability to be in a moment of fun. Children are the ones who have it right, and growing up is whats takes it away and whats wrong. We need to get back to our place of our inner child, being fearless, going for walks, using our imagination. When was the last time you did something you enjoyed as a child? A batting cage? Hide and seek? In those moments you feel your inner child come right back out, and in those moments you must know we must keep feeding that child because he and she are still there. As we grow, become more intelligent, gain careers, relationships, we lose so much of that part of ourselves and take away the fun.

We begin relationships, and lose all sense of wonder and fun, by worrying about everything that is so outside of our control. I guarantee you and your partner do one thing that brings out your inner child and that will be the greatest night of your lives. Your friends have nothing to do? Go to a park, to a playground, have a campfire, play hide and seek, manhunt… the joy and happiness that comes out of you during these events seems so foreign, but it is who you’re meant to have shine before the world took that away from you.

There is so much codependence that comes from neglecting our inner child. As children that is where our hearts first break, that is where we learn to see bad and feel sadness. We never heal from that as adults and carry it forward within us. The ones who abandoned us, made us feel unloved it carries forward. It is necessary to own and honor the child who we were in order to love the person we have become and are meant to be, and the only way to do that is to own that child’s experiences, honor your inner feelings, and release the emotional burdens and blocks that we are still carrying around.

I carried on very much from childhood, and seeing things no child should have seen… abuse, alcoholism, dyfus, horrible family members, greed, backstabbing, drugs… whatever, that is irrelevant however it’s to show I UNDERSTAND. I had to do a very serious child cleansing.

Much of the time in our adult lives, our inner child is lost and we become codependent when a family member does not give us the love we needed as a child so we search to fill the voids and make others happy, thinking we weren’t good enough to keep them around.

My best mediation for this is to sit in a quiet place, and rescue that inner child again, rescue the child in you.

-sit in a quite place and breathe deeply, become in sync with your own body -picture yourself walking up to the child version of you, hug them, hold them, cry with them apologize that you couldn’t protect them at one point in your life but you are here now -ask to see the childhood issues you’re still holding onto and review them see what is effecting your life today, why you cant commit, what you cant be happy, why you are codependent, why you do not feel worthy of love -ask to release these issues, ask for the universe and your inner child to help you release these mediation is not easy, our human egos and brains are the biggest assholes we know, they try and keep us from going into it, buts its ok, relax allow yourself to feel worthy of this healing. Many of my adulthood issues carried on from childhood, whether it be being bullied, parent issues- they greatly effected me and my severe codependency issues I once had. Remember childhood chaos makes you attract to chaos and the same situations, somewhere in your psyche you believe this is correct. We must change it! We must be the change we need to repair as adults, and love ourselves whole! This is my youtube video on self love, which helps also hit other topics of how we’ve lost that part of ourselves

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ybeHwtaEeMc

Remember everyone, we must heal from within in order to ever heal outside. I hope I’ve helped, and my silly little brain can help a bit!

All of my love to all of you

namastexo

Alex march